maybe im beginning to open my eyes to the possibility that i could believe in god again


thats hard to say

but...

these past few weeks have been some of the hardest yet.
but it could have been so, so much worse

and i wonder why they werent.

2 weeks ago i was driving back to fargo and i had a panic attack on the road
i was being told that my financial aid would not be processed in time, my roommate was moving out, i had no plan for what to do with myself and my apartment, my car window was broken...etc.

at this moment, i am writing from my own computer, in a dorm room intended for four that i share with only one other girl. (who i really like!)
a few hours ago i checked out of my apartment which somehow got rerented for the month of september, even though i was told just 6 days ago that i would have to put in a new vacating notice before they could even start showing the apartment again.
and i feel safe.

that doesnt just happen...

i am blessed