i am holding off on this because i dont want to proclaim that i want something and try to embark on something when i have no idea how to do it the right way.

how can there be a right way? i dont know. but i see wrong almost every day.

but maybe the only way to do it right is to work on it together.
but that scares me.
how can i be so afraid of just another person?
how can i get it right when just saying hello makes my hands shake?

i want to get it right.
its too important to get wrong, just because i am afraid.

i want so badly to be ready, and to feel even the slightest bit of confidence that i might be able to get it right.