the easy thing to do would be to stay here. i can be fine with that. for now.
i dont even think i can technically qualify as a transfer student if i dont have at least a certain number of credits and im pretty sure i dont have enough. i dont know what is in charge of my decisions anymore, but i think if i leave here right now...i'll regret it. its like the end of high school again if i do. there are people that i would have liked to have gotten to know, but i am too scared to just outright go up to them. im determined that something will happen to make it possible for me to be friends with some of these people. i will always have a connection to the people i graduated high school with, but if i leave mankato right now...its highly likely that i will never ever see some of these people again.
i cant define my life with decisions made as a result of guilt...but there is something else. even if i do end up leaving mankato, at least i gave it a shot...at least i will be sure that i made the right choice. leaving at the end of this week would always leave me wondering.
so i think i made my decision...not because its easier, but for now, its just what i have to do.