and if we're good, we're laid to rest, anywhere we wanna go

well if thats the case then i want to be put in hole in the ground and call it a day. my former youth pastor once gave a sermon to the entire congregation about heaven. one thing stuck with me...

"when i was a kid, i would be out playing in the barn and having the time of my life. all of the sudden my mom would come to get me for dinner and i would realize that i had been out there for 2 hours in what felt like 15 minutes. now imagine that 2 hours is more like 2000 years."

well thats all fine and good, but what about after that first 2000 years is up? what are you going to do after that? you still got 2000+2000+2000+2000+2000...more years to be out playing in the old barn.

when i heard this sermon i was still under the spell and began thinking about what my heaven would be. i decided it would be going to the beach with jenni and linse, scott, joe, al, and eric. when we were there together it always had to end somehow...parental issues, work, previous engagements. in heaven i could be at the beach with them forever!! eventually, you have got to get sick of the beach, and even if it takes you a million years to get sick of it, its not even a brick in the wall.

then i thought maybe in heaven, all your questions will be answered. everything you wanted to see would be shown to you. so i would be able to witness the birth of my puppies, go to a beatles concert, and be told whether or not i did in fact set the sleep timer on nights when i wondered but accidentally turned the tv off before i could check. but how long can that take? a week? maybe 2? certainly not ALL OF ETERNITY.

you gotta be joking me...existing in some form or another forever and ever and ever is supposed to be a GOOD thing? thats what gets all those loud mouth evangelists all hot and bothered? ("evangelists" by the way can be reorganized to spell "evils agents") the thought literally keeps me up at night (which would explain this) and makes me physically ill. sometimes i have to actually get out of bed and pace around trying to force myself to think about something else.

thank god im an atheist