im sorry.
i dont know how to be a good friend.
am i a smoker
am i a bitch
or just a push over.
i dont know how to get what i want
should i keep my mouth shut
let it boil up inside
or should i just leave.
ive done it before
with almost everyone i know
i pushed myself away
not for a lack of fighting
more for a lack of words
no direction no honesty
walking on pins a needles
maybe my toes were strong
but my courage is weak
so afraid to hurt
just makes it worse

im sorry.
not the daughter you were looking for
not a christian
not wanting to be
maybe you want to see me in heaven
maybe i dont want to live to die
i wish i could spend more time with you
i wish i could get away from you
this isnt the way it was supposed to be
and i dont think i can do it anymore

why does it seem like everyone smokes.