though i felt satisfied at the time, secluding myself in my room to give in to my strong preference to be alone, i now see the results of my hiding. people actually walk by my door and say hey lex. when im sitting right there. completly ignoring me. i try to socialize but every moment spent around people feels like im putting on a show. its exhausting being here. in high school i could go throughout my day knowing that the minute i got home, i no longer had to pretend. now i never know who ill bump into or when. i like people. sometimes. but im worn out.